if I could say just one thing to all the high schoolers out there it’s remember that deep down everyone is just as insecure as you

which means if you need to totally bitch someone out for being horrible to you it’ll probably work better than you expect

try using words of four or more syllables big words confuse bullies

Anonymous asked: Dear Captain Manners, I am utterly overwhelmed by difficult lessons and attempts to find gainful employment. Any tidbits of wisdom you could offer on reducing stress would be most appreciated. Even a mantra will do; I’m getting somewhat desperate, and my sleeping habits are suffering from it. I’d prefer to abstain from pharmaceutical intervention, as I happen to be allergic to most sleeping pills. Suffocation is not conducive to a good night’s rest, as I’m sure you’re aware.

captainmanners:

Even a Distinguished Gentleperson of Captain Manners’ stature is now and then overwhelmed by stress; when this occurs the Captain has found the following methods most successful in relieving this condition, depending on the specifics of the situation:

•  find a small animal that is not venomous and which will not bite, or struggle, or soil you, and pet it continuously;
• take some time off to explore a mountain, an island, the depths of a rainforest, &c., that has yet to be conquered by human ingenuity (a particular favourite of the Captain’s, but do be sure that no humans live there already before you claim your conquest);
• purchase or concoct a favourite comestible and enjoy it either slowly or quickly according to your preference;
• weep quietly into the textile of your choice;
• locate an inanimate object which you dislike and shout profanities at it, or hurl it angrily at or off something;
• listen to the song of the whales.

An Important Question Answered

neil-gaiman:

I want to be an author when I grow up. Am I insane?

 powertothepencil

Yes. Growing up is highly overrated. 

Just be an author.

HOW A MAN DRINKS HIS TEA

jason-peeta-todd:

1.MAKE SURE YOU HAVE A MANLY VESSEL FOR YOUR BEVERAGE

2. PUT THAT MOTHER TO YOUR MOUTH AND INDULGE

3. BUT WAIT

4. PINKY OUT MOTHERFUCKER, YOU’RE DRINKING TEA, YOU DO IT FUCKING RIGHT

tresaisaspecialflower:

so wait i understand most terms but what does queer mean

would i be considered a queer because i’m bisexual or wh

I’ve seen it both as a catch-all for gender and sexual minorities, as as a term for GSM folk who don’t identify closely with any other particular term? General consensus seems to be that if you want to claim it and are not straight and cis (one or the other is fine, just not both), you’re entitled, but you’re not obligated to identify as such and should be cautious in applying it to others without their permission, because it’s still actively used as a slur in some places.

I need help.

fuckyeahchubbygirls:

Fellow chubby girls, I AM BEGGING YOU to help me.

Alright, so I have a stomach that sticks out of my clothes when I sit and everything. The whole shabam. And since it is spring and the temperature is rising, I’m focusing more and more on my stomach and it over powers my thoughts and I feel discouraged like 24/7. How do you girls have so much confidence and how do you not pay attention to little things like this? Please help me. :-(

• Remember, a lot of the basic “trendy” stuff out there is designed for small girls and badly scaled up for people our size. If it doesn’t look right on you, it’s not because you’re defective. It’s because the fashion industry tends to not go out of its way to do right by us big girls. It’s easy to feel bad when your clothes don’t fit right, so you may have to look a little further to find what works for you.
• Personally, and while I also have issues with tummy/muffin top I may not have quite the same body type as you so take this with a grain of salt and don’t be afraid to experiment, I favor either high-waisted pants and skirts, or short dresses over fun stockings or tights.
• I’ve learned to focus on my best features rather than my worst, and draw attention to the good rather than the bad - I like my legs, so I put bold stripy over-the-knee socks on them. I like my eyes, so I wear dramatic eye makeup. I like the texture of my hair - it’s thick and has crazy loose natural curls - but I’m not crazy about the natural color of it, which could charitably be called dishwater blonde but mostly is just mousy. So I dye it blue.
• Put all that together, and I’m the girl in the cute tall socks and purple eyeshadow with the bright blue hair, not the girl with the gut or the heavy shoulders.
• Stay physically active - you don’t need to be running marathons, or even really trying to lose weight if you don’t want to focus on that, but physical exertion really does wonders for keeping your brain chemistry balanced.
• Stay mentally active - the more time you spend reading, or writing, or solving puzzles, or working quadratic equations, or observing newts in their natural environment, or debating politics, or watching Mythbusters, or whatever it is you like doing that requires you to think about stuff, the less time you will have to brood about your tummy.
• Keep a sense of humor - when I’m having a bad body-image day, sometimes I’ll go find some Miss Piggy quotes.
• Remember it’s ok to be down some of the time! No one is happy all the time, especially when society is so intent on telling you there’s something wrong with how you look. It doesn’t make you a failure if you are not happy with everything about yourself all the time. But don’t be afraid to reach out for help when you need it, either!